Here I am, still in Kuwait. SFC Tayo left yesterday with her group of people off to Baghdad. And I am still here. Why? The story is long and really complicated.
Everything was in place. I had just asked CPT Eng for his permission to go on Sunday, and he claimed that he wanted me to go. Then couple days later CPT Peters in charge of the assessment team told me that I was on the manifest. He talked to CPT Eng. I was then starting to get ready to go. But a lot of things happened behind my back. CPT Eng started talking to people that I didn’t know of. He talked to LTC Kloster, who actually told him that it’s not up to him or her, it’s up to COL Kennedy to sign that manifest. And once he signs it, he couldn’t touch me. But she had also told him that I would need some sort of order, a memorandum, declaring where I was going and what for. But he didn’t tell me that. He talked to SGT Figueroa about finance operations. He said he would hate to lose me because I work hard but it wouldn’t be a direct threat to our mission here. And CPT Eng replied, saying something to the like of “I just want him to be happy.” I have no idea what that meant, but when SGT Figueroa told me about it, it cracked me up. WTF? Right… Then he obviously talked to 1SG Basilio about it. But he never talked to me. So couple days ago, when we were moving to the tents, I had asked CPT Eng if I could go, what his verdict was. 1SG, in the humvee with us, started screaming, NO, N-O! And this was from the man, who on the first day of our stay here, was proclaming that he was making arrangements to make his way to Baghdad. I said why not? He told me because I’m a finance clerk. What did that have anything to do with anything? I had already found myself a replacement and it wouldn’t be up to him, just under his chain of command. You would get shot at! Yeah, I want to get shot at, I don’t freakin care. If you go, you have to spend 2 years here in Kuwait. This was a huge bullshit, especially because no one ever stayed for more than 1 year, and even then, the team was to leave on November. Even still then, he was lying because he nor anyone on this earth could name a single man that was stuck here under a single memorandum declaring 2 years of deployment time. CPT Eng at this time said that it’s not up to him, or LTC Howard, like he had originally suggested. By this time, I knew that he knew that I had LTC Howard’s permission. So I asked whose option is it? He said it’s up to COL Kennedy. An O6? You are telling me that an O6 is responsible for a single soldier, an E4, moving to Iraq and coming back in 2-3 weeks? An O6 who is responsible for the entire operation of the camps here in Camp Arifjan? Right… so the bullshit begun to spill and I stopped talking to him then on.
I kept arranging things with SGT Lopez to get me ammo and an M16, CPT Peters to keep talking to the LTCs, and SFC Tayo to keep me updated. I thought I had everything going. It was 80 percent probable that I would go. The COL finally signed the manifest, claiming I could go. I thought that was it. That was the signal, I’m done. But then came the supply issue. I needed to get my antrophine needles back, because we had already turned them in, since they were ‘sensitive items.’ We headed to the XO of the 444 PSB to get my needles back. But then she claimed that I couldn’t get them, and on top of that I couldn’t go, because I didn’t have a movement order from my LTC Kloster. WTF? When did that happen? To me, now, this is a huge conspiracy upon conspiracy that CPT Eng finally managed to stop me. I couldn’t go because he hadn’t told me a valuable piece of information, and no one else had caught it. I couldn’t go, even though I had everything else done, because an XO calling herself the captain, couldn’t let me go. Because she was afraid something would happen to me. And this happened hours before departure, when it was too late. My last hope was actually getting COL Kennedy to sign something for me the next day, before they left on 7 AM. I talked to CPT Peters later that night, and we arranged everything. All we needed was a signature from him saying that I have direct permission. But he wasn’t there, and I lost my chance. I couldn’t go. 1SG was there in the HQ tents that night, laughing at me, saying that my ingenious plan didn’t work, that I tried so hard and got shot down. I have no idea what he was trying to accomplish. But what bothers me the most is that SGT Lodevico, who told me to look after myself up there in case I go, was laughing with him. Nothing more than a yes man, he’s changed. He’s no longer 3rd platoon but more part of HQ. He lost my respect, and so did 1SG.
The next day, today, CPT eng came into the post office. He came in, made split second eye contact, and looked away, grinning. I stared at this motherfucker, wondering what this bitch is grinning like an idiot about. Later on, he tried to calm himself and came up to me, asking what happened. I couldn’t lie, so I told him about the movement order. He said oh, then lingered around for some uncomfortable minutes around finance operations, and left. Later on, he came up to me, telling me he’s getting coffee, so do I want some. I said no, and he held bills up, saying that he’s buying. I said no, I’m going later to buy subway. But what had I become? Have I become a laughing stock? Does he think I need his fucking sympathy or is he amusing himself? There was SGT Lodevico again, laughing. This guy must laugh about anything and everything to get what he wants. He’s not as cool as we once thought he was. Before departing, CPT Eng asks me if I know if 1LT Duenas of 2nd platoon was also on that manifest. I said I don’t know, you would have to ask someone else. He said ok, and carried on.
Then Fitzgibbon came in during the day. That’s when a huge revelation came through. He told me that 1LT Duenas didn’t get to go. So I said it’s because of the movement order. Then he tells me no that’s not it. He takes me aside and tells me that it’s because CPT Eng has told her no, because if he doesn’t get to go, she doesn’t get to go. And with that said, I was fairly pissed off. I was very pissed off. What’s with this jealousy thing? So he doesn’t get to go since LTC Kloster told him from day one that he couldn’t. But what does that have anything to do with everyone else going? So him pretending to know nothing and playing along with it worked this time. No one really knows why HQ is here still, why they were ever here to begin with. But I think I should be able to get away from them sooner or later.
Now, looking back, I wonder what the options could have been. I have a plan. I’m going to transfer to 3rd PERSCOM with SFC Tayo. According to her, they’re supposed to disband in November or sometime. If that’s true, we get to go home earlier than everyone else, AND we get to see 4 different countries. This came to me on that humvee ride. Instead of going to Camp Wolf in a plane ride with them, they dropped me off at the post office. On the way there, that’s when I thought, wait a minute, SFC Tayo said I could go definitely in the beginning. But I had given her an alternative option. I wanted to go along for the ride on the first one. I had felt that transferring would prove to everyone that I’m a traitor, just like they were beginning to think of her. At the time I didn’t want to leave 3rd Platoon. Now, looking around, I think, who is left? No one, really. It’s me, Roberson, Contreras, Windsor, SGT Figueroa, Lopez and Perez. Lopez and Perez I don’t even talk to regularly, Roberson and Contreras I talk less and less often to, it was just WIndsor and SGT Figueroa really I would have ‘abandoned.’ I couldn’t believe it. I think it was because we lived in the warehouse where everyone was there, the girls, the guys, the HQ. But now, living with just 5 people from 3rd Platoon, I see that it wouldn’t really have mattered. Sticking with 3rd Platoon screwed me over again. I asked SFC Tayo on the way there if that was the original idea, and she said yeah, of course, but I wanted something different. Then I asked her when they’re going home, and if that option is still available. Yes. So when they get back, I will transfer myself to them. I just hope CPT Eng doesn’t stop it.