We invaded a country on the 20th of Jan. No one knows about it because it’s top secret. But we have connections and ears. Apparently it was a quick insertion that lasted throughout the night and they came back out around 1500 hrs yesterday afternoon. We got who we were looking for.
SSG Foster’s been chilling with us a lot lately. He’s one cool dude from Honor Guard that we hang out with at the post office and back in the tents. He’s been to Korea for a couple years, so he knows all the Korean that he needs to know. He can even read and write in Korean, although he wouldn’t know what most of it means. I said that he’s now my Korean brother. Of course he doesn’t even look a bit Korean, and at one point he made a joke at me. So I said he’s no longer my Korean brother, but we later came to a conclusion that we needed a council of 5 Koreans to dispel him from the Korean society altogether. Of course here in Djibouti there’s maybe like one other Korean, so I threw away that idea.
He’s done some crazy things back in the days. Back in high school he used to hang around with crank pullers, and he’s one himself. They used to go around in their truck trashing this guy’s yard, because they didn’t like him or something. They got a baseball bat one time and destroyed his mailbox. And next time they came around, the guy had gotten another one. Well, of course they got pissed and his friend got his aluminum bat this time and had a shot at it. He lined it up, said, ‘watch this,’ and swang. Well, the mailbox this time was made of pure metal, so he ended up fracturing his freaken arm! He’s hospitalized, and figures he needs to destroy this guy’s mailbox big time, and obviously he’s pissed. So they look up some stuff online for explosives, and they finally get everything except for one ingredient. Luckily, this guy’s friend’s mom owned a small restaurant, and they cooked up this explosive dough with the ingredients at the restaurant one day, with fuse long enough for maybe 2 minutes. They set it off the next day and run. 4, 5, 6 minutes pass by. And at the 7th minute they start walking towards the mailbox, thinking there’s something wrong with it. Then, BOOM! The mailbox shoots up 100 feet in the air. Well, after that, they figured he learned his lesson, and the guy felt bad, so they went off to ‘bigger and better things,’ like smashing telephone boothes. Some 6 months later, they return for old time’s sake, and the guy gets a baseball bat, and for old time’s sake, swings at the new mailbox. When nothing happens, he says, ‘dude, it’s made of plastic!’
He’s in the Honor Guard, so he tells us all about them. How they have attention with toes touching, their fists clinched at the second joint of the fingers, about the clicking shoes, about how every officer’s a Ranger, how they get issued all the high speed stuff. I went into their tents and every one of their M4s were rigged with IR, night vision, flash, and red dot sight, some with forward grip. But of course there’s always stories about how fucked up they are, too. This one guy had a lot of high school friends and apparently got hung up with this plan at an easy 10K. They said there’s this one old guy that we don’t really like, but he’s really rich, we’ve been scoping him out for a long time now, and we know exactly what to do, he’s gonna go to some auction at this time for about 3 hours and we’re gonna rappel from the building’s roof, cut the glass, enter, get the briefcase he always leaves at this one place with loads of money, and run. Well, it was the perfect plan, I guess, but rappelling? Anyway, this guy says ok, I’ll get in on it for 10K and help you guys out. They rappel down the roof after the guy leaves with his wife, cut a circle through the glass and enter, and while they’re searching around, the guy comes back in, looking for his wallet. He notices the window with the clean circle cut out of it and starts to panic. Well, one of the guy’s guns go off and kill this guy. The wife goes crazy and they figure, well, killed one guy, might as well, so killed her, too. They all get caught and the honor guard guy gt 10 to 15 years in prison for being an accessory to murder. America’s finest.