Move Story 1 of 2
So I was shopping around for a possible new place to live (haven’t made a decision yet). The guy was showing me around the place when one of the dudes doing a house share there came out and we were introduced. Zack, he said, plays instruments, too. So I asked this 20 something year old what he plays. This condescending bastard with frizzled hair, thick glasses, and pimples ever so generously sprinkled all over his face then spitted out a bunch of names: piano, guitar, drums, harmonica, I sing… So I asked him, what kind of guitar do you have? An acoustic. Yeah, ok, what brand?
An Ibanez.
Oh, I see. I have a 2003 Fender American Telecaster myself. And a 1985 Takamine EF360SC. It’s a dreadnought body.
This encounter sort of reminded me of the Australian chick I picked up during my trip to South America. What do you do for a living? I do a little bit of everything. Someone once told me that just means it’s a whole lot of nothing. Don’t tell me you play a little bit of everything and start spitting them out as though you’re so freaken awesome when you own a crappy guitar like an Ibanez. There are plenty of people who can pick you out as a fraud from a mile away. Oh by the way, I can sing, too. I surely can’t sing well, but I can surely sing.
Move story 2 of 2
So I sent an email to one lisavaughnapart@yahoo.com, to see if an advertised house was still available. This is what she said:
It has been a hard time trying to get a nice person for this lovely one bedroom apartment.It was formally occupied by me and my husband before we got transferred to ( Manchester,UK ) to complete a 3-4 years missionary work with God.We are a clean,tidy,nice and God fearing couple,we need someone like us to live in the apartment and take immaculate care of it for us till we will return.
All documents and keys are with us here,my husband in the respect of (Rev. Thomas Vaughn ) is ready to bargain on the price if it’s okay with you taking the apartment over. The apartment has an up dated living room,a bedroom with liners, a fully equipped kitchen and bathroom with shower and bathtub. The washer , dryer and security are intact.The apartment is in a better condition,fully furnished and all the utilities inside are working fine.
The address is (95 N Broadway, Tarrytown, Westchester, New York 10591) Located in a beautiful, vibrant and secure area.$600 is the rent fee per month it includes all the utilities,if you feel this is okay by you reply back as soon as you can with the experience you have in renting an apartment,then we move forth.Thank you and God bless you.
Sincerely
Mrs.Lisa Vaughn.
So some things are clearly off, but I decide to bite. Hell maybe she’s just some old lady and doesn’t know how to type. So I say ok what’s next? Here’s what she said:
Hello,
Thanks for your prompt response to mail and it’s my sincere pleasure writing back to you.How are you doing today and everything? Hopefully great.I do appreciate the whole time and effort you have really shown to rent from us and letting me know more about you.I must confess that you really sound like the type of tenant we have been praying and fasting over to God to come our way,and we will be glad to have you as our new tenant to be,if only you will agree to work with us directly and promise to take proper care of the apartment for us,which is the most important thing to us.
We have everything intact in the apartment and all the utilities are intact,I will like to tell you that you have nothing to be worried about if you really willing to rent from us.The keys and the document are with us here in ( Manchester,UK ),my husband made me understand that he will only commence on the delivery of our apartment keys/documents to the new tenant via DHL courier service,after we have come to an agreement and after confirming the upfront advance deposit payment,depending on how long you will stay in our apartment.You can visit apartment to view the exterior and when going,please mind the way you will patrol on the street so that you wont be harrass by the security around.
The rent per month still remain $600 including all the utilities like electricity, water, wireless Internet, satellite TV, air conditioning,dryer, washing machine, Telephone , Washing machine, security and heating.You can bring your things into the apartment if you wish,we have an extra space for that,moreso I want you to have it in mind that you dealing with a God fearing and responsible folks,I give you my word that you will never regret from renting from us if only you will believe in us.I believe God has a way of working out things if only we can put our trust in him.
My husband wish to have some relevant information from you if you are ready to get this going,so you are expected to carefully fill out the form below or just simply reply back with answers to the questions.
RENTAL APPLICATION……………………….
1) Your Full Name?
2) Your Full Address & Phone Number?
3) How old are you?
4) Are you married?
5) How many people will be living in the house?
6) Do you have a pet?
7) Do you have a car?
8) Occupation?
9) What is your religion?
10) Do you smoke?
11) What date you intend to move in?
12) For how long you will stay in the place?Answers would be greatly appreciated,so that my husband can use it for the shipment of our apartment keys/document to you.Thank for being so honest with us and God bless you too,attached are more photos of our apartment,fully furnished and well decorated.I will be looking forward to hear back from you soon.I would have love to give you our phone number here,but is not yet been activate,we cant receive call with it for now,but we can make a call out with it.Let me have your phone number and the best time to reach you on phone.
Sincerely
Mrs.Lisa Vaughn
As soon as some random dude online tells you “you have nothing to be worried about,” be worried. I was VERY worried. Grammar is clearly off. Spelling was mostly fine but but not even putting a single space after most of these sentences wasn’t just annoying, and sometimes they clearly mixed up words that sound the same but mean two very different things, such as “formally occupied” should have read “formerly occupied.” This guy was clearly not some wife of an American pastor named “Vaughn.” And the (parenthesis) I figured was a key for him to use to insert some random name more applicable to where I was living. Even his email address was “lisavaughnapart@yahoo.com” This guy was clearly so stupid that he put the word “apart” for “apartment” in his email address. Clearly you created this email address to scam people. I mean, come on! Anyway, so I figure I should see where this goes, so I keep on “biting,” or at least I pretend to.
Hello Elliott,
Thanks for getting back to me as soon as you can with the information I requested,and I can see your interest towards everything.I must confess to you that I am so impressed with your application and it will be our pleasure to have you wonderful person like you as our new tenant to be.I have read and understand all you have explained in your mail and I have also let my husband aware of it,I will like to get you undrstand once again that you cant see inside of our apartment for now,due to our last horrible experience with our agent.We have our apartment keys/documents with here in UK,my husband said that he will only be posting it to the new tenant after we have come to an agreement,and as soon as we confirm and track your address with the deposit payment.
You really sound like the type of tenant we need to live in our apartment,we will be glad accept your application if only you will agree to work with us.You can visit the apartment to have the experience of the neighborhood and the location,and mind the way you will patrol on the street when going,to avoid abash by the security guard.You will have the access and the direction of our apartment as soon as you have our apartment keys/documents to you.I believe God has a way of working out things,if we put our trust in him.You have nothing to be worried about in dealing with us,I give you my word that everything will work out fine with us.
Do let me know what you think as soon as you can,I will be looking forward to hear back from you soon.
Have a blessed day and God bless you.
Sincerely
Mrs.Lisa Vaughn
I replied,
Mrs Vaughn,
K. I trust that God has a way of working out things. Let’s proceed.
To which she writes:
Hello Elliott,
Thank you for getting back to me as soon as possible,and it’s my sincere pleasure writing back to you today.How was your night and everything? Hopefully great.I do appreciate the interest and understanding you have really shown since the beggining of this transaction and yes God is in control.I want to thank you once again for the promise you have made to take immaculate care of our apartment,from this moment Elliott I want you to start consedering yourself our new tenant to be.Thanks for believing in us and I give you my word that you will never regret in having us as your new landlord to be.
Honesty you have really made our day Elliott,and we cant wait to have such a wonderful person like you as our new tenant to be.My husband was so happy to know that we finally have someone we can trust with our property.I think this is the day the lord has made so let’s be glad and rejoice in it,you are really a God sent to us and I pray that my God give you the strength you need to take good care of things in the apartment as soon as you move in.Thanks for making our dream come to a reality and you most welcome to our world.
Elliott I want you to always stick to your promise in taking good care of our apartment,you know this is most important thing to us not the money.My husband is okay with you moving into our apartment by March 1st 2010,and a year 4 months lease you will stat with.Like you know that we will be here for 4 years,so you are most welcome if you wish to stay long term.We cant wait to have you move into our apartment and daughter and put things in place.My husband said that he will be using the address you provided to commence on the delivery on how you will be receiving our apartment entrance and the rooms keys and the document to you via DHL courier service,after we confirm your address with the upfront advance deposit payment from you.
Due to an honest and responsible person like you,my husband advice to receive the first month upfront advance deposit payment of $600 and $400 the refundable security deposit total ($1,000).The first month you will pay upfront for will cover for the first month you will stay inside our apartment,starting from the date you will move in,while we will refund back the security deposit after a month you move into our apartment.I will say that it will be better to get the payment to us as soon as you can,so that we can be able to secure the place for you and commence on the delivery of our apartment keys/document to you.
For the payment you don’t have to worry yourself,we can receive the payment from you via Western Union,I want you to know the this is will be the last time you will make the payment to my husband via western union,your next payment will be receive by me when coming to visit you after you have move into our apartment,and when im coming I will keep you posted.
Below are the contents of the document my husband will post along with our apartment keys to you via DHL courier service next day delivery,after confirming the payment from you while I will get back to you with the tracking details as soon as my husband is done with the delivery,so that you can occupy our apartment with full effect.
1)Entrance and the rooms keys
2)Paper/Permanent house form(Containing your reference details)
3)The house documentary file.
4)Payment Receipt.
5)Full address and description of the house.I will be looking forward to hear back from you soonest,do let me know if you ready for the payment so that I can forward you the information you will be using to make the payment to us via western union grocery store close to you.My husband said that he will like to talk with you on phone,he demand for the best time to reach you on phone.
Thanks for being so honest with us and God bless you both abundantly,wish you best in all you lay your hands on.
Sincerely
Mrs.Lisa Vaughn
So I say:
Lisa,
I give you my word that I will send you the money when you send the keys to the house in Tarrytown that you advertised. Please put your trust in God that I will do this. This is your ultimate test from God to see how strong your faith is. I will presume that since you are a woman who is married to a missionary and have dedicated her next 4 years in the UK for the purpose of God, you will be able to do this.
This is what she then wrote:
Hello Elliott,
Thanks for getting back to me as soon as you can,we really appreciate your understanding and concern towards everything,and I give you my word that everything will surely work out fine with us,cos God is in control.Yes with God all things are possible,we put our trust in you Elliott,so please always stick to your word.I got the address you want us to post our apartment keys/documents to,my husband will commence on the delivery of the package to you via DHL express courier service,as soon as we confirm the payment from you.While I will get back to you with the tracking details as soon as my husband is done with the delivery to you,you will have the package delivered to your address the second day we confirm the payment from you.
Below is the information you will be using to make the payment to me via western union,you can write it down in a sheet of paper or your phone,take it to any western union grocery store close to you and make the payment today if possible.
Receiver’s Name………..THOMAS VAUGHN
Address…………………….15 Chorley Rd,Manchester,Lancashire M27 5AJ, UK
Text Question…………….In God We
Text Answer………………Trust
Amount ………………………$1,000
As soon as you finish making the payment,below is the information you will send to me in order to confirm the payment from you.
1: Sender’s Full Name
2: Sender’s Address
3: MTCN of 10 digits number issued to you by western union
4: Amount Sent
5: Text Question and AnswerI look forward to hearing back from you soon with the payment,my husband will be giving you a call soon.Thanks for being so honest with us and God bless you.
Sincerely
Mrs. Lisa Vaughn
To which I said:
Lisa,
Please send the keys to the following address:
(my note: my now defunct PO Box)
Elliott Kim
PO Box 221
Valhalla, NY 10595
I will then send you the payment, the security deposit and the 1 month rent as you wish for a total of $1000. As you know, trust in God as always and things will work out. I trust that you are a person of God and immense faith. You know that God will never fail such a woman of immense faith that you and your husband are.
These emails all happened within a 24 hour timeframe, by the way. But wait! there’s more! (Ah foot in the door technique!) “Reverent Vaughn” decides to CALL ME mere minutes after I send off the last email! It’s a blocked number! (My ring tone changes, too, when it’s blocked)
Hello, may I speak to Elliott Kim?
Yes, speaking.
Hi, may I speak to Elliott? Kim Elliott?
Yeah this is he.
Oh hi, Elliott, this is Reverend Vaughn. (This is also when I realize this dude has a very hispanic accent).
OH HI REVEREND, HOW ARE YOU?
I’m doing well, my wife has been talking with you on email, about the house?
Anyway, I’m thinking to myself, oh my goodness, how far are people willing to go to to screw people off for $1000? He then says a few very strange things.. At one point he says he’s in South Africa. Then he says he’s in UK for sure. I asked him how long he lived in Tarrytown (the advertised house) and he responds where’s that? And I ask him what church he was pastoring over in New York, and he came up with some inaudible name he was blurting out randomly and I couldn’t understand because his accent was so freaken heavy. I asked him what he’s doing in UK, and he says his church placed him there. So I ask him what denomination, and he says oh the Christian Missionary denomination. I’m like what the hell is that?
So in closing, I tell him that his accent is really heavy. And this guy… at least credit him for trying. He says it’s because he’s lived “here” so long (he did NOT have a British accent, and his ad said that he JUST moved there) and that he has traveled quite a bit to East Africa (did not have an African accent). I wish I got to talk to him more to see how far his BS was gonna go cuz I was gonna ask which East African country he’s been to. Chances are, I’ve been there.
So this guy’s still saying, trust God yadda yadda, trust me I’m not trying to screw you over, this isn’t a scam…. Anyway, so I tell him to send his keys to a trusted member of his congregation and when they get the keys, I’ll take the keys and give them the money. He then says ok my wife will be in touch with you. And I directly tell him look, there is no Lisa Vaughn.. Your “wife” isn’t gonna be in touch with me. Hey Reverend, tell me this, what is your favorite Bible verse?
He hangs up.
I know this is a really long post but damn, this really pissed me off for many reasons. First off, there’s gotta be a much more severe penalty for such wantonly scamming people for money. Secondly, I can’t believe people go this far with blasphemy just for $1000. $1000! And lastly, how dare he use the Lord’s name in vein to such a degree.