I complained to my boss today.
He came around my desk asking me to add in something very trivial, something that took me about an hour to do. It was a much smaller task than most things I’ve had to do recently. I said sure, I’ll do the work, that’s not a problem, it’ll take about an hour. Then I then made the mistake of saying that I’m frustrated. He made the mistake of asking why.
Because it’ll never stop. Ever since I started 7 months ago, it was going to get better sooner or later. And I keep telling my family and friends that these hours averaging out at 9AM-9PM are only temporary. And it’s not at an investment banking pace. It’s always been at a rocket speed pace where I’m constantly pressured to perform, to instill credibility to a finance organization that had none before I came in. Yet here I am 7 months later, and there is no no end in sight. We just went through a thousand different forecast models. And I’m sure people will want to know why every Actuals line item in the Income Statement, Balance Sheet and Cash Flow were not perfectly in line with the forecast, never mind the budget. So in the last 7 months, I just did all the grunt work for a full out budget, external audit, and forecast to raise money. And I completely revamped financial reporting process, implemented a new expense consolidation program, and exported cap tables. Is there an end in sight? Yes, I do believe there is, about a month from now. But again, I’ve been saying that for 7 months, and I am starting to lose faith.
I wasn’t screaming or shouting when it happened, but I was clearly frustrated. I don’t believe I sounded angry or resentful towards my boss. Is this still much better than IBM? Yes, it absolutely is. I actually work for a boss that I like and I am getting recognized for my contributions. In fact, I just received a raise 2 weeks ago that put my annual salary increase CAGR (Compounded Annual Growth Rate) since the beginning of my professional career in mid 2007 at a respectable 11%. That’s not too bad considering I’m not a doctor or an investment banker. So before I was overworked and underpaid. After the raise, I just became overworked.
I also noticed the number of people we’re hiring. We’re hiring in droves, but there’s been a huge lazy relaxation of the hiring salary. One girl in particular stood out to me. She’s younger than me, but is currently making $xxxx more than I am, even after my raise. And she gets to go home @ 5PM every single day. Why am I the one setting off the alarm at midnight, having to explain to the police that I just had another late night work session? What is she doing that is so useful that makes her that much more worthwhile and so efficient with what she does that she gets to enjoy her evenings? All of a sudden, jealousy set in and I again became overworked and underpaid.
I’m not working these hours with the promise of a 100% raise in 2 years. I’m not working these hours with the promise of a bonus worth 100% of salary every year. And I’m certainly working more hours at a lower pay than teachers who get 1/4 of the year off. And today I finally succumbed to the idea that it will not get better sooner nor later.
My boss became the unfortunate recipient of that surrendering moment. I walked out of the office minutes later and took a brief stroll by the Hudson River. I came back to my office, walked over to my boss and told him I need the next Friday off. That would be my first official day off since I started 7 months ago. I’m worn out.
Then I apologized to him. He had simply smiled and left, but what I did was wrong. He said don’t worry about it, and that we have in the forecast a headcount hire to help me along. But even that hire (and only that 1 hire out of the next 12 or so we’ve got planned this year) has been a joke with the COO, who constantly keeps changing forecast models by putting that hire in one day only to take him out a day later.
I am still wrong regardless of his intent on saying that I shouldn’t worry about it, and I told him exactly that. He didn’t have much to respond to that, but I think he completely understood my sentiment. One thing I am taking for granted is that I work for a boss I like, who I know can take these things and never treat me differently because of it. And I work in a startup where everyone makes mistakes along the way and this is one of them. Days and weeks will pass. This, too, shall pass with it.
But I am still stuck with knowing what won’t.