Haha like General McArthur said, “we’re not retreating. We’re simply advancing in another direction.” Remember the good old days of Calvin and Hobbes? It’s probably one the only cartoons I really enjoyed. People say they can relate to Catcher in the Rye. I say Calvin and Hobbes, those two characters are much more real to me. Garfield is getting old real quick.
My mom bought 3 dozen Krispy Kreme’s the other day. I’m really happy she had me in mind when she bought it, cuz she was thinking poor boy hasn’t had Krispy Kreme in a couple years so she surprised me. And I guess she thought I was a big fan. I mean, I could eat like half a dozen if I was in such mood, but I think my mediocre optimism in eating Krispy Kreme has had an impact. I think my body just says no to too much of almost anything unhealthy… maybe that’s why I’m so skinny because I don’t eat too much of sweets. But anyway, my dad noticed and he’s like why the hell isn’t he eating these donuts? And as he says that he opens the box and takes out a donut of his choice. So my mom gets all upset because he didn’t think about her. Then they both get upset at me because I’m not helping and I’m not eating enough donuts and I’m just helping them get fat… as they’re enjoying their donuts. I swear I’ve never felt so pressured to eat donuts before in my life.
I bumped into a car yesterday. I told Cher and David this, and it’s a pretty long story but I can make it short. So I’m backing out and there’s this SUV parked behind me, leaving me about 10 feet of maneuvering space for my car to get out. That’s fine, I can get out, right? Well, yeah but my car goes dead going on reverse. The breaks don’t seem to work for some really weird reason, and so I put on the parking breaks, and it slows it down a bit. Then I finally come to a stop. I’m trying to start the car again, but I realized later on I’m on freaken reverse but I didn’t know it at the time so I’m struggling. And then these three Mexicans come out of nowhere and they’re like, Dude, you just hit that SUV. And I’m like yeah I know (I didn’t know) I’m trying to get this car started it just died on me. So they run over to me and say hey put that on neutral, we’ll push. So I did and there’s these 3 Mexicans on the trunk of my car pushing as hard as they can, but it’s really not going too fast, and later I realize holy shit, I got my parking breaks on. I let it go as cunningly as possible. So anyway after that they look at the SUV and go, hey he shouldnt have parked there anyway, and you can’t even tell so you’re good. Then they run off, and so I’m like wait a minute, let me do something for you guys. I get out of the car take out a 5 dollar bill (really the only thing I had in my wallet at the time) and I’m like dude, take this it’s not much. But they don’t even look at the bill, say that it’s ok, and they run off to the building, so I’m like well where do you guys work at at least? China Express, they say. So yeah, go to China Express on South and Carmenita, and buy some delicious chinese food made by 3 random but generous and kind Mexicans. I mean, if you can imagine 3 Mexicans with green aprons running at me and pushing some random car as hard as they can with the parking break on… damn. But after that, the car started, everything was fine.
For some reason, I’m doing a lot of different things this summer. I went up to Berkeley, tried to bike to SD but only made it to Irvine (37 miles), went to the beach 3 times, barbeque twice, bonfire once, and I just got invited for a random bonfire tomorrow (i know her from taekwondo) and barbeque on sunday (army). I got my permit then license in 6 weeks, I’m getting cured for TMJ, and I’m taking two classes, one of which I just got my A in, and went to Medieval Times with Sean Novak.
I just found out I got an A in Anthropology. I took the class because the syllabus was easy (best 3 out of 4 tests, curve each test). Well, I got As on the first 2 and I’m thinking if I pass this one, I don’t need to come to class for 2 more days and take the final. So I studied to make sure. The teacher’s handing out the test, but halfway through the class, everyone’s like, this says test 4, and we don’t know the answer to any of these questions. So the teacher turns all red, and she’s like ok I just handed you your final, give them back to me. And she goes well, I call this an act of god. I’ll tell you what. I’ll add 10 points to your highest test in the class so far and that’ll be your third test score. So I got over 100 percent on a test I didn’t even take, and consequently a pretty easy A…
I went to go return a pair of pants today at Banana Republic, and I’m sorry to say the gay guy was there. I was hoping he wouldn’t be, but it was really worth a lot of money so I couldn’t just not go. Well I get in the store and the guy obviously recognizes me. And he doesn’t say a word, just kind of stares up at me and watches and listens to everything I do and say with the cashier. My god… I kind of wanted to work there for like the winter, get 60 percent off on some kick ass Blazers and get out, but if that guy’s still there, I’m not even gonna bother applying. I think that’s one of my main weaknesses, gay people, I just can’t seem to handle them very well. Passing by some in Berkeley is ok, because all they’re doing is walking. Or even talking to one, cuz you’re just talking. But when a gay guy’s staring up at you for 5 minutes and doesn’t take his eyes off you… god damn. I am seriously scared of the guy.
I’ve been thinking, you know, I’m really out of it. I mean, the whole Army thing. Everything I hear and talk about now seems somehow related to the freaken Army as much as I try to inhibit myself from doing it. I mean, it’s the only thing I’ve done for the past year and a half, and I really need to get back into this life.
The hardest thing for me, of course is the weather. I mean, it really has been hot out here, and it’s uncomfortable. But when some wanna be know it all I just met for about 10 minutes says no place is worse than Korea, oh my god, that place is so freaken hot, don’t go there during the summer, why would anyone live there? Then I said well I’ve been to Kuwait and that place was bad too, and the guy goes, yeah, I’m sure, but Korea was really, really bad. What am I supposed to say then? I just said yeah, I’m sure it was then shut up as I listened to this guy talk. I have the hardest time staying shut. Do I brag about how hot it’s been overseas? If I have been, please stop me, although I don’t think I told too many people exactly how hot it was. By the way, for the record, I spent 9 hours loading up 5.56mm rounds (M16 rounds) in 11 degrees at Wisconsin with 3 layers of clothing on top, 1 layer on bottom. I had no gloves, and the ones they had were too big to fit the rounds into the magazines. It rained. I was soaking from the rain, and cold from the snow. Kuwait was 126 officially. In this one SUV we were riding in one time for a short low profile trip, it was 44 degrees celsius. Djibouti, officially it never got over 120. With our thermometers, it was 138 degrees, one of my friends has the picture of himself holding the electronic thermometer and leaving it out for 5 minutes, without humidity factored in. We ran in the morning 85 degrees at 0600, 95 at 0640. Often, the air conditioning went out. Greenhouse was in full effect in those tents. So there you have it, I tried keeping it short. That’s hopefully the first and last time you’ll have to listen to me about how hot it was over there, because it really, really was hot. But if you wanna complain about how hot it’s been in LA (it really has been), I’d love to do it with you, and I won’t bring in anything I just mentioned. It’s just when people think they know everything and think their experience is the only one, insisting on ignorance just doesn’t fit well with me.